Calm and Steady
This was a pretty ordinary week 'round these parts. Andrew was in MDO his two mornings, Brian had work, class and a mid-term, Caroline started pulling stuff off of tables and making messes.
And I was the mama: feeding, cleaning, loving and organizing.
About six weeks ago Andrew and I were really struggling. I felt like all I was doing was disciplining, getting angry and frustrated, and his behavior wasn't improving at all. We weren't having much fun.
Eventually I realized it was me with the problem, not Andrew. I wanted him to respect me and listen to me, but I was getting angry and stomping around and yelling. That was no fun, and I think Andrew thought it was a game. That behavior was not going to win me any battles.
I have tried so hard over these last few weeks to stay calm, cool and collected. I've been working on being the bigger person, and it's made such a huge difference in his behavior.
I want to have fun and enjoy my days at home with these little people. I do not want to spend these short, fleeting moments annoyed because Andrew won't do what I ask.
But I need some tools in my mama arsenal so I've reread bits of 1,2,3 Magic, and I've put it into practice.
I really don't use the counting method much to get Andrew to quit behavior, but I sure use it to get him to do stuff. It works. I don't know why, but I'm so, so glad.
I'm no expert and I'm fairly new at this, but now, when I ask Andrew to get in the car and sit down and he does it(!) I want to do a little happy dance.
Sweet Elaine at The Miss Elaine-ous Life wrote a beautiful post this week about finding the glitter in the dirt and let me tell you - when Andrew puts his pj's on with just a little help from me and not a bit of arguing - that's my glitter these days!
There's more peace in our house, and we're all having more fun. I'm happier. I'm not raising my voice, and Andrew's doing what I ask (most of the time). All because I'm staying calm.
Now, if I could get him to understand gentleness toward Caroline we'd be in great shape. :)
And I was the mama: feeding, cleaning, loving and organizing.
About six weeks ago Andrew and I were really struggling. I felt like all I was doing was disciplining, getting angry and frustrated, and his behavior wasn't improving at all. We weren't having much fun.
Eventually I realized it was me with the problem, not Andrew. I wanted him to respect me and listen to me, but I was getting angry and stomping around and yelling. That was no fun, and I think Andrew thought it was a game. That behavior was not going to win me any battles.
I have tried so hard over these last few weeks to stay calm, cool and collected. I've been working on being the bigger person, and it's made such a huge difference in his behavior.
I want to have fun and enjoy my days at home with these little people. I do not want to spend these short, fleeting moments annoyed because Andrew won't do what I ask.
But I need some tools in my mama arsenal so I've reread bits of 1,2,3 Magic, and I've put it into practice.
I really don't use the counting method much to get Andrew to quit behavior, but I sure use it to get him to do stuff. It works. I don't know why, but I'm so, so glad.
I'm no expert and I'm fairly new at this, but now, when I ask Andrew to get in the car and sit down and he does it(!) I want to do a little happy dance.
Sweet Elaine at The Miss Elaine-ous Life wrote a beautiful post this week about finding the glitter in the dirt and let me tell you - when Andrew puts his pj's on with just a little help from me and not a bit of arguing - that's my glitter these days!
There's more peace in our house, and we're all having more fun. I'm happier. I'm not raising my voice, and Andrew's doing what I ask (most of the time). All because I'm staying calm.
Now, if I could get him to understand gentleness toward Caroline we'd be in great shape. :)
Labels: Andrew, Caroline, Motherhood
4 Comments:
Im really struggling with this today. Every morning is rough around here. It's the terrible 3's for us not the 2's. I have seen that book. I should try it. I'm desperate!!
By
Colleen, At
April 6, 2012 at 8:52:00 AM CDT
I think we all go through times of struggle (I'm going through one now) and the great thing is...there is light at the end of the tunnel! We always come out better and stronger and having learned something new. Keep your head up mama, you are doing great and I'm so glad to see you are making progress!
By
kk @ the mom diggity, At
April 6, 2012 at 10:02:00 PM CDT
Gorgeous bath time pictures sweetie! I really prefer bath time pictures in black and white don't know why x x
By
Anonymous, At
April 11, 2012 at 1:40:00 PM CDT
This is such a great post and wonderful reminder. I think many times I get upset and Dustyn does too. I just make it worse when I get upset. I love these photos. By the way do you like that bath chair. I wonder if it would work for Carsyn. He still lays in a baby bath but is getting too big. What's the weight limit?
By
Anonymous, At
April 14, 2012 at 7:14:00 AM CDT
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