Calm and Steady
And I was the mama: feeding, cleaning, loving and organizing.
About six weeks ago Andrew and I were really struggling. I felt like all I was doing was disciplining, getting angry and frustrated, and his behavior wasn't improving at all. We weren't having much fun.
Eventually I realized it was me with the problem, not Andrew. I wanted him to respect me and listen to me, but I was getting angry and stomping around and yelling. That was no fun, and I think Andrew thought it was a game. That behavior was not going to win me any battles.
I have tried so hard over these last few weeks to stay calm, cool and collected. I've been working on being the bigger person, and it's made such a huge difference in his behavior.
I want to have fun and enjoy my days at home with these little people. I do not want to spend these short, fleeting moments annoyed because Andrew won't do what I ask.
But I need some tools in my mama arsenal so I've reread bits of 1,2,3 Magic, and I've put it into practice.
I really don't use the counting method much to get Andrew to quit behavior, but I sure use it to get him to do stuff. It works. I don't know why, but I'm so, so glad.
I'm no expert and I'm fairly new at this, but now, when I ask Andrew to get in the car and sit down and he does it(!) I want to do a little happy dance.
Sweet Elaine at The Miss Elaine-ous Life wrote a beautiful post this week about finding the glitter in the dirt and let me tell you - when Andrew puts his pj's on with just a little help from me and not a bit of arguing - that's my glitter these days!
There's more peace in our house, and we're all having more fun. I'm happier. I'm not raising my voice, and Andrew's doing what I ask (most of the time). All because I'm staying calm.
Now, if I could get him to understand gentleness toward Caroline we'd be in great shape. :)